So, exactly when did this all happen?
I was recently elected head of my department at school. Now normally I would be filled with excitement at such a great opportunity to pad my resume. However, I follow no ordinary man. You see, my predecessor is a literal legend. He was named by the city of Lakewood as a 'Lakewood Legend' for his 38 years of service. To make matters worse, he is a great guy. Probably the most sincere, polite, professional and generous person you'll ever meet.
And here I come.
I'll grant you, I'm no slouch. I'm not a bad teacher. I even have a good reputation at my school for not screwing things up. But come on man. How do I follow a class act like the one I'm faced with? My collegues assure me that nobody expects me or anyone to be able to fill the former dept. head's shoes. But I've got to think if I'm doubting myself, I can't be the only one. What were they thinking when these people voted for me?
Perhaps it is some kind of vast, complicated conspiracy(everybody loves one, eh?). Maybe the senior dept. members figured they knew they wanted the job but knew they didn't want to follow a legend.
The solution? Lets feed Mike to the lions and after he has sufficiently ruined things, we can swoop in and be the hero. Hmm...
To add fuel to the fire, there are people in my dept. who have been doing this job almost as long as I have been alive. How do I lead a group like that? The administration seems supportive, but that only makes me more suspicious.
Besides, isn't this a job for an actual grown up? The label 'dept. head' implies that I'm mature enough to guide the 18 members in my department. Would my colleagues have voted for me if they knew that I am so mature that I am visibly depressed if someone else in the house gets the last bowl of Lucky Charms? Or at times I insist on winning arguments with my six year old? Or that I still play with my Star Wars action figures?
I feel like I'm wearing my father's clothes and pretending to be someone I'm not. There is so much diplomacy involved in this position. Managing personalities, schmoozing certain people and avoiding others. People are going to look to me for leadership. How did I get to this particular place in my career at the tender young age of 34?
Then it all hits me (again). I'm a grown adult. I'm supposed to be a grown up.
Now, you are probably thinking I'm a complete idiot for not realizing this somewhere before now. Being married, having two children and a mortgage should have been clues. But I tell ya, I know I have responsibilities, but I never thought of it all as being a 'grown up'. I've just been having a blast playing with my kids, loving my wife and being thankful that I have a job I love that also happens to pay the mortgage. With this new position there is this perceived notion of maturity and respect that I only associate with other people. Am I truly one of those people?
Time will tell.
8 Comments:
Congratulations, uh, I think. Seriously, that's cool. You must be more highly respected than you know among the faculty. Your doubts about their intentions made me visualize the old Life cereal commercial..."Give it to Mikey, he'll eat anything."
Remember old Dr. Gatley from AP U.S. at Wilson? "Good afternoon, scholars. Let's start off with a quiz." I still can't believe that he had all of us over to his house for review sessions. I wonder who followed him as chair of that department.
Anyway, maybe you'll love the job and excel in it. "He likes it! Hey, Mikey!"
Sherry,
I do remember Dr. Gatley. Occassionally I will start off my classes with his catch phrase without even thinking about it. I wonder where he is now? Thanks for the vote of confidence. Peace.
Mike,
I echo Sherry in saying congratulations. I remember you saying it was a possibility the last time we spoke. And, you know, darned if that *very* *same* *feeling* doesn't overtake me at times - I actually wonder sometimes what I'll be like when I grow up. No kidding! I can turn 180 degrees in my chair and see several Lego creations on top of our Ikea bookcase, and young Obi-Wan and Qui-Gonn Jinn do eternal battle against Darth Maul right in front of my monitor. Hmm...I feel a post on my own blog coming on.
At any rate, congratulations again. And remember, we can get older but we don't ever have to grow up.
Scott
Youth is expected to submit to "mature" leadership. How difficult it seems for the "mature" to submit to "youthful" leadership.
Michael, your talents and leadership skills have nothing to do with your age or adulty-ness. You have been a leader for as long as I've known you. Stay young!
Mike,
I echo Karen's comment: you are a natural leader. And probably they want fresh vision, new ideas, you just to be your cool self in their presence. If the pressure gets too great, bring your han solo doll and luke skywalker dolls to the dept. meeting and sit them on the table in front of you.
Have fun. I hope you're getting release time or a stipend for this too.
t
Mike,
I echo Karen's comment: you are a natural leader. And probably they want fresh vision, new ideas, you just to be your cool self in their presence. If the pressure gets too great, bring your han solo doll and luke skywalker dolls to the dept. meeting and sit them on the table in front of you.
Have fun. I hope you're getting release time or a stipend for this too.
t
Mike,
I echo Karen's comment: you are a natural leader. And probably they want fresh vision, new ideas, you just to be your cool self in their presence. If the pressure gets too great, bring your han solo doll and luke skywalker dolls to the dept. meeting and sit them on the table in front of you.
Have fun. I hope you're getting release time or a stipend for this too.
t
looks like troy really did echo his comment.
anyway, good on ya, mike! in my current profession, i tend to fly below the radar and avoid all of the "leadership" roles. too much of a chicken i guess. *cluck cluck*
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