Burying The Dead

A student of mine died last week.

The funeral was yesterday. I could not make it. Scheduling issues.

We'll call him Antonio and he was only 16.

Antonio got sick in November and was admitted to the hospital for possible tumors in his lung. Initial diagnosis was there were benign growths in his lungs that were treated with chemo. As the months progressed he got weaker because of the chemo. About a month ago, doctors apparently found another tumor. This time it was in his neck and had to be removed. While the operation was technically a success, he was on life support afterward. He never came off.

Antonio was not a great student. He was funny, animated and well liked by many of his peers. A smart kid, but he usually had other, more interesting things going on than homework. He was a good kid. I liked him.

Smart and unmotivated. Like many sixteen year olds I know. The kind of kid you just want to shake sometimes and say "Wake up man, you've got what it takes, don't squander your opportunities."

And now he is dead. How is it possible that I can write with the words "sixteen year old kid" and "dead" in the same sentence? What are his parents going through? His ex-girlfriend is in one of my classes and she has been a mess. Some of Antonio's other friends are sprinkled through some of my classes and I'm not sure what to say to them. How do you explain this loss to a young person? I know that when I was this age I was convinced I was immortal, invincible.
Does something like this rattle you enough not to take life for granted or does it convince you if you don't know God that He does not exist because how could He let this happen?

I know that I have my own, Christian paradigm to comfort me in reconciling loss in a fallen, broken, painful and ugly world. But how would I help one of my students if they asked for help in processing this? To my own selfish relief none have asked yet.

Mortality is a strange thing once you are forced to deal with it bluntly. He was only sixteen.

I talk to many parents who are frustrated with their kids. They don't know what to do. Their kids won't respond to their help. I can hear the distress in their voices over the phone. Some are hoping just to get their kids out of school, hoping that the real world will help make them into repsonsible people. Antonio will never have that opportunity. His parents will never see his wedding day or graduation day for that matter. They won't be able to say to him on his 30th birthday "You know son, there were times in high school that we worried about you. But we are so proud of you for making good decisions as you got older and it blesses our heart to see you happy and successful in life." It will never happen for them. They are only left with this gaping hole in their heart and their spirit. A hole only God can fill. Please pray for the family.

My boys are sleeping. I'm going to go into their room and praise God for every breath they take.

Peace to all.